A Moment

Moments of peace

Lying in bed

Enveloped in the darkness of predawn

Rain pouring down in a graceful tempo all its own

Slumberous thoughts still clinging to my brain

Listening to the water hit the leaves on the ground

Rushing through the gutters of the building outside my window

A lulling melody

Calling me to burrow into the warmth of my bed

Yet enticing me to jump out of bed and stomp through the puddles

Watching the water envelope my bare feet

Making mud pies and smearing the rich wet earth on my skin

Becoming one with the nature that is a constant lure around me

Beautiful moments of peace

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

The Awakening

Long dormant, peaceful slumbering creature

Rolling in the depths
Dreaming of being awakened once again

What will it take to rouse her
The primal urges that she craves rarely fulfilled
She rests in slumber waiting, watching, yearning

Awakening thoughts and feelings
New energies circle slowly
Feeding the electrical conduit in carefully measured steps

Connection through energy
Through thought
With only another primal creature

Must touch mind, body, and spirit
Must connect on a visceral level
To love the dark places where only light lives

The creature moves restlessly in the depths
Sensing a soul similar to hers
Feeling the presence of primal energy

She shifts in her slumber
Slowly coming out of her deep hibernation
Stretching out her senses toward the other

Stirrings, the slowly swirling stimulus
She reaches forth and starts the slow process of connection
Where will it go, what will occur, will the cravings be fed

To explore and be explored
Mind to mind
Crawling inside the grey matter where danger resides

To take in and let loose
Spirit to spirit
Where divinity resides with deity and souls weep

To touch and be touched
Flesh to flesh
Where transcendence takes place with beauty and pain

Slowly awakening the creature rises to the surface of her deep place
The hiding place where none can touch her
Unless they know the path of painful pleasure and how to touch her mind

Patient, languorous, careful
Hungry, yearning,
The duality of need and caution

Release the fear
Embrace the exploration
Travel the path where most fear to tread

She is restless
She is ravenous
She is connected to the soul of the Universe
She takes it in
She transcends
She releases
Most importantly….She wakes


© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Embrace

Today is traditionally a day of giving thanks. While I am not necessarily in that particular headspace and have no plans for celebrating this day in any traditional sense, I am definitely in a very introspective place. The recurring themed dreams that have plagued me lately of being Priestess, bringing this aspect of my self back into my life. The thoughts and feelings that continue to swirl around in my head and heart about things esoteric....and how to bring these things together into my life with balance and grace.

I find myself moving from book to book in my occult library, finding snatches and snippets of thoughts and ideas that move me from book to book until all the books are scattered around the room in an almost manic display of what is roaming freely inside my head.

All the while music is playing that causes me to move my arms, my hands, my body until all of the words and the melodies become one inside my soul and are translated, transcended, and escape through the ends of my fingers, out the top of my head, burst from my heart, and travel down into the earth pouring from my feet and lower chakras. All of my chakras feel exposed and open, yet also peaceful and whole..."complete" for lack of a better word...though still striving for more. More connection, more sharing, more giving, more release to all that need the transcended energy that moves through me.

Yet the hermit in me resides calm and watchful. Knowing that even though I need, require, demand peace and alone time, I must also let the Priestess out and she is never to be hidden from whoever needs her, whatever needs her energy.

The time and space, the atoms and molecules that I am comprised of, that touch all things, every thing - swirling in the cosmos of time and energy that never goes away. We are all things. Our thoughts are one. Our energies, while separate, are one.

There is no beginning or end to these thoughts and the energies pouring through me today, driving my fingers to type, to release, to share what needs to come out. Many will not understand what I'm sharing. Many will start reading and discover it is too jumbled to follow and walk away. I want to apologize to those who read and are confused, yet will not because there is some message here that some one may need and if even one person gets something out of this then the writing has served its purpose.

Touch and be touched. Open yourself. Be open to others. Love freely. Say the words. Embody the actions.

All is One. Embrace the connection to what is inside you, what is outside of you, and be who you are meant to be.

TheSacredWhore

© Dawn C. Davis

Coitus Interruptus

A short little story I wrote years and years ago.

Man, if that truck driver wasn’t already dead, I’d really let him have it. Screw around with my Saturday night…just not okay. What am I supposed to do now? Hmm, maybe I could go ahead and find Paul. That would really blow his mind. I don’t know if it will work but hey, I don’t have anything else to do. He should be waiting for me at his apartment.

Would you look at that? He’s all pissed off cause I’m late. Man, if he only knew. Now, how am I gonna get him to stay and how the hell am I gonna get his clothes off? Well, let’s just see how far I can take this and if it’ll work. Following him around the room as he’s pacing, I try running a fingernail down his spine. Whoa, did that make him jump or what? Since that worked, this could be really fun.

Let’s see if I can get his shirt off. One button at a time. He’s freaking out. A gentle lick as I finish unbuttoning his shirt. Oh boy, he’s panting now. I wonder if it’s fear, or if he’s turned on, or a combination?

Mmm, I just love the way his body glistens when he sweats. Makes me want to lick more. Oops, he doesn’t seem to be taking this well. Too bad, I’m horny. Let’s try crowding him over to the couch. Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be. He’s all sprawled out for me. Yeah, his eyes are looking a little freaked out but I’ll make up for it.

All that yummy chest, tastes so good. Nibble on this hard little nipple. Ooh, he liked that. He’s moaning. Maybe he’s been without as long as I have.

I can’t help giggling at his reactions as I slowly reach for his belt. I just love when a man’s belt comes undone. It’s like the final barrier, the last surrender. Oh, he’s got a great little bellybutton to lick and suck on while I get his pants off. Oh god, he’s so yummy looking…and he goes commando. What a beautiful strong cock and my god, he shaves. His balls are nice and firm, a nice handful. I’m really gonna love this. I love the way he’s writhing and moaning. I need a taste.

Man, he barely fits in my mouth but he tastes so good. The best lollipop ever invented and tonight it’s all mine. I can’t help but stroke his perineum, fondling his balls, stroking his cock with my lips while trying to fit more of him in my mouth suctioning as hard as I can.

“Jesus, what the hell is going on? Oh no, don’t stop. Just, oh god!” Well, that always makes a girl feel good.

Maybe I should back off a little though. I want my fun too. What can I use to cool him off a little. Oh, I know. Let’s check out the freezer. Score! Those tiny ice cubes that I can fit in my mouth. Let’s go see how he likes this. Melting ice water on a hot cock. Man, he looks so good lying there panting. He is so gorgeous and he may not know what’s going on but he’s definitely into it.

I can’t wait any longer. I need me some of what he’s got. Straddling him nice and slow, and god he fills me up so good. Move slowly girl, make it last. God, I just want him to pound into me but I don’t know when I’m gonna get anything this like this again. We fit together so good.

Yes, oh god, yes, that’s it yes. SHIT!

“What the fuck! What the hell is going on? Who are you, put me back, I wasn’t finished yet. And where the hell am I? How did I get here?”

“I’m afraid little minx that you are quite finished. And you named the place quite accurately. You see, you’re in hell and that’s as far as you will ever get to go again. But don’t worry; we’ll make sure you get to this edge over and over and over again…without ever going over.”

The man in the seersucker suit gives me the devil’s own grin, “It’s going to be very entertaining having you around. Oh, and don’t worry about Paul, he got off before we took you.”

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 1999

Ponderings...or...OMG, she's thinking again.

At what point does something become hypocrisy? Where is the line drawn? I know that some areas are extremely black and white and it is very clear. I am a person who hates hypocrisy….abhors it. But I have learned recently that there is a grey area where some actions appear hypocritical but may not necessarily be. I’m certain that with some things this is a matter of perception. What one person sees in a situation is not what everyone else may see of the same situation from a different perspective. Not only that, but our perceptions are colored by our own life experiences and specific things that we may be going through in the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I still despise hypocrisy, but I have learned that it’s not always so easily determined if actions/thoughts/beliefs might be hypocritical.

I have had exchanges this week that have caused me to step back and think about these things and I’ll be honest, I haven’t figure it all out. This writing is a means by which I hope to figure out at least some of it.

Possessive…this is a word used in this lifestyle (and out, obviously) and I have always thought it was a good word. I get a tingle inside when I feel I am being possessed by someone I desire and feel passion with. I love the idea and feeling of it, but there are connotations and deeper meanings to the word that are not what I need or want.

For instance, if you look up synonyms for the word possessive you get some interesting word options; controlling, jealous, overprotective, clinging, covetous, selfish.

I don’t like those words. I love the feeling of being controlled in certain situations and conditions, but I don’t want someone controlling (or trying to control) every aspect of who and what I am, or all of my life. I still need space to be me. I love feeling protected but I don’t want to be smothered. I love to be the focus of someone’s thoughts and actions "in the moment", but I would probably feel very uncomfortable to be in that position 24/7 (besides, life dictates other things must be taken care of). I also don’t like clingy.

There are good synonyms for possessive as well; e.g., hold, own, or care. All words, thoughts, and actions that I can fully support.

So does this make me a hypocrite? Or really does it just come down to where the line is drawn for any individual? What works for me obviously may not work for others. I want a partner who can accept me for who I am yet still push me to be better, more; but not overwhelm who I am or try to make me into someone else to meet his ideal.

It’s like the line between love and hate, or happy and sad. Two extremes of the same thing. It is the degree in either direction that dictates if it is positive or negative, and no one person can draw the line for another as to when it crosses over…though I would posit that the extreme in the negative would generally be unacceptable.

I am me. I get naked easily and freely. I don’t do it as an exhibitionist…it doesn’t “turn me on”. To me, being naked is no big deal. I may not always like how my body looks or feels on any given day, but that’s just life. I love me and who I am. My body is the shell that houses the giving and caring person who is me. I refuse to let anyone try to make me feel shame about the fact that I am comfortable in my skin and being in my skin (naked) in front of others. I don’t get naked for attention. I don’t get naked hoping someone will want to touch. In fact, if someone does touch me when I’m naked and it was not negotiated…well, trust me when I tell you you don’t want to go there.

I am me. I create a safe environment for my models to get naked and feel accepted for all they are and feel beautiful. This particular point is so incredibly important to me. I don’t care if you’re a size 2 or 22 in front of my camera (I’ve been both of those sizes BTW). I try to capture something with my lens that goes so far beyond just the skin a person lives in. That is my art. That is my goal.

I am me. I have a stubborn streak as wide as the Pacific Ocean, possibly wider. Really. Trust me on this. Don’t try to tell me how to feel, what to think, or to be something other than who I am. It will not end well. But at the same time, I can give everything to the right person in the right circumstance and moment, but don’t ever take that for granted or you will see that stubborn streak and you will never break me of it. I give freely and easily or I give nothing. I am a girl of extremes. This is something I have learned about myself and am learning to temper in certain situations.

I am me. I am an artist (nods to my sis, -AnamCara- for making me understand this). If I want you in front of my camera there is a reason. Trust that it is no small thing. And don’t try to force or coerce me to have you in front of my lens for your own gratification and/or because you’re an exhibitionist and you’re making notches on your belt for all the photographers you’ve worked with. That does not feed my vision.

I am me. I have a hard time owning my masochism sometimes. I think it’s a private part of who I am (which doesn’t mean I can’t play in front of others). I know that I can go deeper and take more when I am doing it in a place of being consumed in the moment by/for another and there is a sharing of trust and respect.

I am me. I giggle when you hurt me in delicious ways. But it better be negotiated or trust me, I won’t be giggling, nor will I ultimately be the person who is hurt.

I am me. I love and adore spending time with my friends but sometimes my need to be introverted comes first. Even then, if one of my friends needs me, the need to be alone gets tossed out the window. If you are one of those that I call friend, I will be there for you in the darkest moments. I will hold you while you cry, I will hand you tissues, and I will feed you chocolate. But be warned; I will also tell you the unadulterated truth and not everyone wants to hear the naked truth. I will call you on your bullshit if I need to. If I think that calling you on your bullshit may break you (in a not good way), I may choose to walk away because it is the best thing for both of us. And that is hard.

I am me…and I’ve barely scratched the surface really of who I am.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Art in Therapy

So, last weekend I got to do a photoshoot. An amazing photoshoot. A powerful photoshoot.

“Where are the pictures?” you ask. Well, that’s just it. There will likely be very fewif any photos posted. They are sexy. Beautiful. Endearing. Touching. Fabulous. Important. Compelling. Potent.

I could go on for days like this, and likely you all will never see any of them. But they are there. They touch me every time I open Lightroom to work on processing them. They are some of the most important work I have ever done in my life…and I hope to get the chance to do something similar again….even if it means not being able to share them.

I got to be a fly on a wall, share energy and space with two amazing women; one of whom is working to overcome much in her life and how she sees herself. This was therapy in kink and I got to document it, so for me it has become Art in Therapy.

I am so incredibly humbled that I was asked to do this. Not just as a photographer, but as a human being. I walked into it nervous. Hoping beyond hope that I could see and document what was needed for the healing work to continue. I walked away from the shoot with a contact high that I was not expecting. I walked into the shoot not in my own best headspace, and was nervous because I knew it was going to be emotional. I wasn’t nervous for me, I was nervous for her and that my energy would bleed over into what they were trying to accomplish, but I was resolved to put aside my own internal dialogue and be there for her. What happened was inspiring. Being there, capturing that healing…it healed something in me that I didn’t even know needed healing.

I got to photograph nervousness, laughter, tears, compassion, connection, power, strength, beauty, sexiness, and so so much more.

There can be great healing in this thing that we do. There can be great healing in allowing ourselves to move outside of our comfort zones. I am blown away time and again when people who have been in front of my lens want to be in front of it again…and tell me they feel powerful and special with what is created there. That they feel like they are contributing to art, and not some random cunt or cock shot.

We are sacred. Each and every one of us. Every part of us. There is no shame in the divine beauty that resides in us. Nor is there shame in the beauty of the bodies we have been given to house our divinity.

Hmmm, maybe I should keep my name after all. :-)

The Sacred Whore

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Metaphors and Symbols in Life

I am a student of the occult, a seeker of esoteric knowledge and wisdom...metaphysics. Symbols have been my life; spiritually, emotionally, physically...for more years than some of my friends have been on this earth (in this lifetime at least). The interesting thing is that I'm not very good at putting into words what I glean from the metaphors and symbols in my life. I can take all of that knowledge, all of the gleanings, and transform them into an emotion, into energy within my body and release it to the world through connection with another human being, through ritual, through sex or kink, but words seem to escape me...or at least it feels that way to me which is kind of ironic given words seem to be one of the most important things of my life.

Ritual; be it sexual, kink-related, spiritual, stroking someones hand, giving someone a hug, merely making a soulful connection in some small and profound way...with a person, with an animal, with a tree, or flowing stream...these are but some of the ways that metaphors and symbols both enter and leave my life.

Many years ago, during a meditation, I connected to ALL. The most profound moment of my life. I was open to every single entity on this planet, in the air, in the cosmos. We were... *are* one. I sense and feel my connection to everything. It is overwhelming at times. It can make ending relationships extremely painful, but it can enhance the beginning of a new friendship; amp it up like lightning striking, or floodgates opening. It makes me very vulnerable. Learning to control it has been...interesting. *smile*

Many years ago, I ended a very profound relationship...a Master/slave relationship. I struggled though I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I knew that I could sever the metaphysical connection, the "cord" that kept me connected to him and it would ease my aching and longing, but I recognized that if I did that, then I would no longer be connected to ALL. I consciously chose to let the metaphysical connection remain even though fear and loss and anger traveled along that cord for some time and fed my anguish and pain. Eventually it diminished and now it is a cord like any of the other infinite cords that connect me to everything and everyone around me. To this day, I am extremely thankful that I did not damage my relationship with ALL by severing that one cord.

Perhaps this is why my photographic art has come back into my life. Another form of metaphor and symbol. The things my eye sees and wants (needs) to capture and share with the world.

The tattoos on my body, the symbols they represent are more metaphors. The great union that comes from the combining of sexual energies (mine depicts female and male sexual union). The replica of the Pictish carving on my breast to me symbolizes new life, growth, the germinating seed coming to life. The Udjat on my back symbolizes my intuition, my psychic self, and that connection that I have to ALL. The white wolf paw on my hip/thigh, once a symbol of my slavery to my Master, now symbolizes my secondary totem and the path that I traverse in this lifetime of discovery of self. The new tattoo that has not come into being yet, will connect all of these and aid my ritual of moving into the next phase of being.

Sometimes I feel like it is a very solitary path these metaphors and symbols lead me on, and sometimes it feels lonely, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it is filled with fascinating conversations, amazing connections, and the warmest of hugs. I cherish each and every moment that I share with every entity I connect with...each and every one. They are precious to me.


I feel led to end this with a quote of sorts. It is the "Priestess speech" from the Gnostic Catholic Mass, which I performed more times than I can possible count. Filled with metaphor and symbol for those who care to look. If you ever want to hear it spoken, I'd be happy to oblige. Ask me any time you see me. Trust me, it's engraved on my very soul. I will never forget it.

"But to love me is better than all things; if under the night-stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in splendour and pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich head-dress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!" [Liber AL, I:61] "To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:62] "Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you. I am the blue-lidded daughter of sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky. To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:63-65]

© Dawn C. Davis (photo and writing except for excerpt from Liber AL)