Public Play

It is our first foray into playing publicly. i am nervous. It's been a very long time since i have been put on display, taken hits in public, submitted in a public place other than our lower protocol at munches and the like. It is far different to allow that energy to go deeper, to the level of giving You everything while naked and exposed to everyone's gaze. i am also excited for this chance to feed this part of my psyche...for while being afraid of my submission and finding pleasure in pain being exposed, i also relish the idea of it. There are confusing feelings wrapped up in being exposed this way. There is humiliation, but there is also pride at what i can take, how well i can take it, and how erotic my responses can be to those that witness it. Thoughts swirling around in mind are, "Will i be able to release and go deep enough to please You? Will i be able to focus fully on You and what You do to me? i have not seen You play in public yet so how do i know that You will be able to keep my focus?" This last question is the most silly as my connection to You, my submission to You is total. There is no doubt really that this will go off beautifully. It's just my butterflies, my head playing its little trip.

You have already informed me that it will not be a "usual" session for us. There are time constraints involved. We do not get to take hours to get to our "space" enjoying the journey, so it will be compressed. We will take what we can get because playing publicly like this feeds something in both of us.

We reach the event and must wait our turn for an apparatus on which to play. i attend to You as best i can in the space, getting You drinks, staying attentive to You while You visit and converse with Your friends, saying hi to people that i know, though mostly i am quiet because i am in unknown territory.

Finally we are up. We get the St. Andrews cross and You order me to strip to my level of comfort as You prepare things. i strip naked. You suspected i would go there but not having played with me in public You did not know for certain. When You turn to me to direct me to the cross, i can see that You are pleased that i am in fact naked. i step up to the cross and You bind my wrists and ankles to it. Not only am i naked, but i am now exposed. You start out not bothering with covering my eyes. You know me well enough to know that i tend to keep my eyes closed and that is exactly what i do once i am bound in place. i go inward. i close my eyes and focus my energy totally on You and what You are about to do to me.

You start with a flogger, knowing this is a good fast way to warm me up; followed by a paddle, then Your hands on my ass. The skin has reddened quickly. i am squirming with the speed that You have needed to use to get the most out of our time. i start to growl and then go deeper and the purrs start to issue from my throat. You stop and run Your fingernails over my abraded skin. Your gloved hand touches my wet pussy, fingers entering me, i push against them, wanting more. In this moment, there is only You and i. Your fingers leave me and i hear Your voice close to my ear. "Open your eyes My whore." i obey and what i see is Your wet fingers that have been inside of me.

"Is this your essence whore?"

"Yes Sir."

"Taste it for Me." You hold Your fingers to my mouth and i immediately draw them in, sucking and licking my wetness from Your fingers. "Such a good whore you are. Whose whore are you?" There is so much noise in the dungeon i know that only You and i can hear each other.

"i am Your whore Sir. i am SIR's whore."

You smile and then step back as You reach for another toy, another tool to bedevil me with. Next comes the cane, the whip, the stinger, and i gladly take them all for You. i squirm, i squeal, i growl, purr, and moan with the rapid descent into our dark place. There is no one present in this moment but You and i. We are all that exist in the universe. Every thought, every action, every molecule is ours. We own it, we control it, we play with it and release it.

Each hit takes me further. You are hitting my pussy taking me to that most painful place but also the place that will cause me to release in this embarrassing way. i want desperately to get away yet i beg You for more, for the fullest release though i know it will not come here, not yet.

You stop and run Your fingernails over my sensitized skin. You reach around and pinch my nipples so hard i scream with it. You smile as i lean back against You, leaning fully into Your body. You can feel my need, i am quietly humping the air with my need to be filled. "Soon My whore."

You lean down and release my legs, then reach up and quietly release my hands, Your body pressed closely against mine. You hold me there against the cross, knowing that i am lost in the moment, lost in Your energy, lost is the darkness of our dance. i nod at You, telling You that i am present enough to dress. As i dress, You gather Your toys, keeping an eye on me. i look up and see that people have been watching us. They are whispering. i can sense their energy now though it does not invade or penetrate because OUR energy contains us, protects us. We have fed the multitude, the people who watched us play. You have everything packed and You help me to stand. You guide me to the door and we go home where we will finish our dark dance with the final release.

©Dawn C. Davis 2011

Anais Nin

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

“People living deeply have no fear of death.”

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain.”

“I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.”

“Our love of each other was like two long shadows kissing without hope of reality.”

“What can I do with my happiness? How can I keep it, conceal it, bury it where I may never lose it? I want to kneel as it falls over me like rain, gather it up with lace and silk, and press it over myself again.”
― Henry & June

“The truly faithless one is the one who makes love to only a fraction of you. And denies the rest.”

“I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman.”

“To think of him in the middle of the day lifts me out of ordinary living.”
― The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

“I reserve the right to love many different people at once, and to change my prince often.”

“Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.”

“Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.”

His Hands

i was looking at a picture of You today that made me feel all warm and tingly inside. The look on Your face, in Your eyes, Your beautiful hands...these are the things that stood out for me in this picture and made me think about our times together. A serious look for serious moments in our dark tango. You lead, i follow.

Looking at this picture today, caused me to think about our time together in the living room after our session. As we ate our post-session treat i watched Your hands. i watched Your hands as You handled the dagger. When i sat on the couch and You buried Your feet behind me to keep them warm, i watched Your hands as they lay on Your thigh. Watching Your hands that night, and looking at them in the picture today, made me think about what they feel like on my body, how they play me like an instrument, fine tuning my reactions and how i come alive and sing for You as Your hands touch and manipulate my flesh.

Your hands pinch my nipples, stretching and pulling them until i gasp. Your hands gently lift my chin, requesting that i look You in the eye. Your hands stroke my hair comforting me. Your hands grasp, scrape, and scratch sensitive skin, bringing me more fully awake to Your touch. Your hands slap, spank, and strike beautiful rhythms on my flesh until i writhe with pleasurable pain. Your hands wipe tears from my vulnerable face causing me to love You that much more. Your hands hold my face as You kiss me, making me feel precious. Your hands push hard and unyielding things into my body causing me to groan and beg to be fucked. Your hands stroke my pussy, my ass, my clit, until i cannot stop humping them. Your hands rip orgasms from my body until i scream in overwhelmed ecstasy. Your hands quiet my body when it has reacted strongly to Your implements of torment. Your hands wield those implements bringing me to heightened states of awareness and delight. 

Your fingers fuck me, Your hands devour me, Your energy consumes me when we dance our dark pas de deux.

©Dawn C. Davis 2011

The Stranger

It is a regular protocol session, like any other. i have no expectations other than getting to spend an evening of perverse pleasures with You. i am expectant and excited but no more so than usual at coming before You. There has been no indication that there will be anything different. i ring the bell precisely on time, my clothing arranged so that You may see what i bring You when You open the door. You greet me and tell me to perform my duties.

i walk into the bedroom and deposit my bag, noticing on the way past that the Consecrated Space is darker than usual. When i enter the room and turn on the light, i feel a difference in the energy and wonder at it. It feels darker. i prepare the room as usual but the energy is affecting me, agitating me, putting me on edge. As i prepare the room i hear You in the living room, opening the door, but i think nothing of it. You are doing Your own pre-ritual preparation.

i finish preparing the space then prepare myself, call on Babalon which settles me a bit and then i start to crawl to You. As soon as i round the corner into the dining room, i sense the difference. There is another presence. i continue to crawl to You, feeling some trepidation. i come before You, kneeling, eyes cast down as is our protocol and wait for You to speak. Our ritual words calm me further and i keep my eyes downcast, even though i want desperately to look up and see who is present. i get a sense that it is a woman. You do not acknowledge the presence, nor do You call my attention to it. You order me to get the implements required to massage Your feet and comfort You.

i crawl away feeling both sexy and humiliated by doing this in front of another; a woman. While i am in the bathroom, i hear murmurs but i cannot make out what is being said. i crawl back to You, take off Your shoes and socks, and start my massage of Your feet. As soon as i start my ministrations i am lost in the moment. You know how i get when performing this task. i sense the other person shift in her chair. i'm not sure if she's bored or excited to be watching this...until i start to lick, kiss, and suck on Your toes. As soon as i start sucking Your toes like cocks, i hear a gasp come from her lips, but it doesn't matter to me because i am ministering to You and i know how You love these particular ministrations. i hear Your voice talking to the woman, but oddly directed at me as well. "My whore loves to suck on her Sir's toes like they're cocks...don't you My whore?"

i stop sucking only long enough to answer in the affirmative.

"Are You my whore?"

"Oh yes, Sir."

"Whose whore are You."

"i'm Your whore Sir. i am Sir's whore," and immediately start sucking; in and out, in and out.

You remove Your toes from my grasping mouth and i groan with the absence.

"Present."

i immediately move into position and Your guest shifts in her seat. She must have been going to say something because You say, "Not a word. That was our deal. Observe only. If at any point You are uncomfortable, You may leave."

Then i hear You dig through various toys and the sensations start to rain down on my body. There are soft and sensual toys, there are hard impact toys. i moan and lift my ass to the blows. You pause and run Your hand over my reddening skin, down my ass, to my wet pussy. "Oh, My whore gets so wet. Do You like the pain? Does it make You wet?"

"Yes Sir i do, it does."

"Do you want more?"

"Oh please Sir, yes."

Then i feel the cool lube running down my ass and onto my pussy, Your fingers smearing it around, rubbing it in, a gentle probe to my pussy which i push against, another probe to my ass which causes me to groan and push more insistently. i feel the hardness of the butt-plug at my opening and push against it, silently begging for it. Shame fills me with wanting this so badly while this stranger is watching, but i push against it, give a brief scream as it moves past the sensitive rim. The woman shifts again but remains quiet. Your hand on my ass quiets me after the invasion. You push and pull on the butt-plug, effectively fucking my ass with it and i start to writhe and hump against it, wanting more.

You stand and choose another toy, going harder, deeper with the blows, each level taking me to that place of ultimate submission where nothing exists except You and i, dancing in our darkness. You periodically hit the butt-plug causing me to buck against it, wanting desperately to be fucked.

You pause, have me close my eyes, and kneel up. You gently but firmly place a hood over my head covering my eyes and ears and then order me to drink some water which You hold for me. i relax a little bit knowing that i now cannot see the stranger even if i wanted to. The temptation has been removed. You place wrist and ankle restraints on me and place the spreader bar between my ankles then order me to stand up. i am mortified because i cannot do this gracefully with the spreader bar and someone is watching, but i do the best that i can. i feel You close to me, and Your quiet voice in my ear, "You're such a good whore."

i feel better again, knowing that i have pleased You even in my humiliation. You walk me forward a few feet and then hook the wrist cuffs to the cross bar. i didn't see that You had brought it into the living room earlier.

Then i hear the one noise that makes me want to swoon. i hear You remove Your belt and i moan with the fire this lights deep inside of me, knowing that my pussy will flood with my desire. You wrap Your belt around my neck, forcing my head back, almost but not quite cutting off my breath, Your mouth comes down on mine, demanding, filling me and i kiss You back like the aroused animal that i am. We both start growling and then You release me and i whimper at the loss. The belt is slowly slid from around my throat and i purr with the sensation of it. i can hear You behind me again, and wonder what will be next and of course i do not have long to wait. Your belt is my next torment and the blows are varied and move constantly. i cannot guess where it will hit next and i growl and purr at the sensations, squirming to meet the blows and to get away from them. Some blows land between my spread legs and cause me to release a scream as my juices run down my thighs. When the juices start to flow, i remember the watcher and a new wave of embarrassment washes over me.

Suddenly the blows stop and i feel Your body pressed close to mine and i feel Your arousal. i cannot help but press against Your hardness. You're fully clothed and my sensitive skin is abraded further by Your jeans and shirt but it does not matter to me. i need You, i need to be entered, engulfed, fucked, and used.

You reach up and release my hands from the bar then bind them together. You slowly turn me around and then have me stand still as You remove the spreader bar, my juices still drenching my thighs.

You run Your hand up the inside of my thigh, a finger dipping into my pussy and i helplessly start humping it, begging for more. "Such a good, wet whore you are. Do you want to be fucked? Do you need to be fucked?"

"Oh god, yes Sir. Please Sir."

There is more shifting and the stranger has gotten up and is moving away. At first i think she is leaving, but i hear her go down the hall and know that she is going to the Consecrated Space. You order me to my hands and knees and blind folded, You lead me to the Devoted Space and i can sense the woman is sitting in the bondage chair. You place me in the middle of the room, tie a rope to my bound hands and lift them over my head. Your order me to spread my legs and keep them spread for You.

Your hands are on my nipples then; pinching, lifting, pulling, rolling them between Your fingers. Then there are clamps and i gasp with the intense sensation. Your fingers are between my legs again, but this time You are placing clamps on my labia and these have the weight attached to them. i try to stifle a moan but it escapes my lips as my hips rise in my need to be touched more, filled with something.

You walk around behind me and play with the butt-plug some more and i can feel my ass sucking on it like a pacifier. "Oh My whore, you're going to fuck it without My help aren't you?"

i whimper at my need, embarrassed but so needy i cannot hold back. "Please Sir."

"Please what? My whore."

"Please Sir, please fuck me."

You chuckle. "And what does My whore want to be fucked with?"

i whimper again. "Anything that pleases You Sir."

"What a good whore You are. Are you My whore?"

"Oh yes Sir. i am Your whore."

During this, You have played with the weight on my labia, swinging it back and forth, the motion causing the clamps to get ever so slightly tighter. i now feel Your fingers playing with the clamps on my nipples and the pain is exquisite.

You pause, and hold a glass to my lips again and tell me to drink. Then You get out yet another toy and it's whippier which means more sting. You start whipping me, hitting the clamps, the weight, my flesh, my pussy; each hit getting progressively harder. i am writhing with the sensations, my whimpers becoming sounds of distress which causes You to back off ever so slightly, only to build again, back and forth with the intensity until i cannot tell hard from soft anymore. my juices are running almost freely down my thighs for You.

You stop and slowly run Your hands over my body, feeling the welts, running Your fingernails over my sensitized skin. i squirm with the additional sensations, groans escaping my lips in a soft breath. i feel Your body so close to mine, suddenly the clamp is released from one nipple and i scream as the blood flows back into the belaboured flesh. You instantly start sucking on the nipple and i press against You hungry for more. i feel Your hand on my other nipple and know what is coming. i am panting with the anticipation and suddenly scream again as You release the second clamp, Your mouth again replacing it, sucking hard adding to the sensation at the same time as relieving it.

You reach up and release my hands, slowly lowering them, then remove the cuffs.

"Lie down on Your back."

i comply, the clamps on my labia are painful and pinching now, but i'm lost in the moment of our dance, of the energy flowing freely between us.

i lie there waiting for whatever is to come next, i hear You moving about and then feel You between my thighs. Something enters my pussy and i push against it, fucking it before it is even fully inside of me. "Such a good whore for Your Sir. Begging to be fucked."

"Oh please god, Sir, just fuck me please." i'm whimpering with my need, trying to grind against the invasion to my pussy pushing against it. You slowly fuck me with it and then i hear the vibrator and know that You will force me to orgasm. You place the virbrator against the butt-plug causing me to writhe and push against it while You continue to fuck me with a dildo in my pussy. All i want is to be fucked, to have some release. i want the forced orgasms while still dreading them. i want them ripped from my body, over and over again, to be overwhelmed by them with some part of me wanting to run and hide from it. i can feel the energy building, the pressure is building and i have to let it go. The first orgasm comes with a gush of liquid shooting from my body, but the pressure hasn't let up yet. Another and another rip through me, i'm screaming from the release, from the confusion, from the need. You move the vibrator to my clit and the energy continues to build until finally a clitoral orgasm slams through my entire body and another gush of liquid from my pussy. You continue to push and i scream with the overwhelming releases. When my body is spent, You remove the virbrator, and slowly pull the dildo from my pussy. You lay a hand on my belly, and another on my head. You kiss me sweetly on the lips and hold me there.

Suddenly i feel the other presence and a mouth pressed to my cheek in a chaste but sweet kiss. "Thank you," are the words i hear whispered in my ear and then she is gone. i feel her leave the room and the house and You are holding me.

"You are My whore. Such a good whore."

You remove the hood from my head and i see Your smiling face and know that i have truly pleased You.

"Good energy My whore."

i smile back at You. "Thank You Sir...for everything."

©Dawn C. Davis 2011

To my Secret Crush

Dear Sir,

i know we haven't actually met in person yet, but this the beginning of a fantasy i would like to experience with You. We will meet soon...

We would meet anonymously in a public place, making eye contact but exchanging no words as we come together and go to a slightly secluded place, knowing anyone could walk by at any moment. The energy between us is immediate and highly charged. You silently command me to my knees expecting me to know what is expected. i unzip Your fly and pull Your cock from Your pants immediately licking and sucking on it like it is the best candy in the world, which it is. :-) You hear a group of people talking and laughing, coming closer and closer to where we are not so hidden and tap me on the head. i look up at You, not wanting to stop but You smile and remove Yourself from my mouth. You know this is just the beginning of our time together. You zip up and take my hand, helping me to stand, and then Your hand is in my hair pulling it as You turn and forcefully press me back against the wall. You kiss me deeply, our tongues battling for supremacy until You get a good suction on my tongue and i melt. The people walking by see our passion and have grown quiet as they continue on their way.

Your hand slides up my leg, pulling my skirt up the length of my thigh, grazing over garters and meeting naked pussy. You chuckle low in Your throat with approval for my not wearing panties. You stroke my clit until i'm moaning and the wetness starts to coat Your fingers. You whisper Your approval in my ear; leaning back You release my pussy and bring Your fingers to Your face, smelling and then tasting the essence of me. You look me in the eye, sternness and approval fighting for supremacy on Your face. "Are You ready?"

i know this will be the only opportunity i'm given to back out or submit. i choose submission to You. i lower my eyes with a very quiet, "Yes, Sir." You lean forward again and force Your fingers into my mouth, making me finish cleaning my essence from them, then give me a gentle kiss.

Leading me to Your car, You take me home. The silence is heavy with anticipation and trepidation. We arrive at Your home where I can see things are laid out, ready for an evening of intense pleasure and pain; but i don't get to focus on any of this. You want me slightly off balance so You immediately take up a blindfold and place it gently around my head, cutting off all sight. You lead me gently to where You want me and tell me to kneel. i hear You moving around the room and feel Your presence in front of me. i hear what sounds like Your belt being undone and removed. i shiver with the sound when all of a sudden the leather of the belt is against my nose. i inhale the scent of leather and You. It's a belt You have worn for many years so it is supple and gives off Your essence. i moan quietly and know that You are pleased with my reaction.

Suddenly Your hand is on my head, forcing my face to the floor, my ass in the air. You tell me to stay like that as You lift my skirt and reveal my bare bottom. You stroke the white flesh, pinching it in Your hand to check the resiliency. Suddenly i feel the impact of Your hand on my ass and then it registers that have started spanking me and i finally hear the impacts as i feel them. Just as suddenly You stop and i feel Your fingertips stroking the flesh that is just starting to turn a rosy pink. i shiver from the feeling of Your fingers on me; as they dip down to stroke my cunt and spread my juices.

i'm starting to relax into the wonderfully erotic feelings when Your fingers leave me and i try so hard to withhold my groan of impatience and despair. i'm not left waiting for long though. The next implement of torture rains down on my ass; the leather of Your beautifully worn belt. It takes all of my self-control to remain in position and though the pain is exquisitely wonderful, i hiss with the sensation, trying hard not to cry. i'm not ready to cry yet. Just as quickly as the belt spanking started, it stops. i groan with the withdrawal of the loveliness of it. Your fingers come back, exploring the sensitive skin, dipping down to my cunt once again.

i feel Your face next to my ear and quietly hear, "A wet pussy is a good pussy."

Consider this but the beginning of a wonderful journey my Sir, with endless possibilities, endless destinations.

........

©Dawn C. Davis 2011

The Alchemist

There is no question in my mind that He is the Alchemist. The changes that He is bringing forth in me are astounding, overwhelming, beautiful, fulfilling, total. His touch, His creativity, His eye…He sees what needs to be done to me, on me, with me, and does it. He leads me through the wasteland and causes life to blossom deep inside of me.

i am filled with wanton desire now. It fills me, overflowing, spreading throughout our time together and beyond; cascading down my thighs like a waterfall desperately trying to reach the sea. He releases it from me, guiding the journey, touching lives as we ride the waves of desire and lust.

He uses the sharp edge of pain to guide, to sweep me away to the heavens until i sing with the angels. He pushes me ever further along the road of my being introducing me to my darkest self until the joy breaks forth in infectious laughter that cannot be held back. He takes me where i have never been before and it is my home, my heart. He fills me so full that i am empty, drained of everything that does not fit inside of me.

He teaches me about pleasure, about pain, about loss, about love, and it fills me with creation, bliss, questions, hope, yearning, forever striving and reaching for more.

He molds me to his touch, to his desire and wishes, until i cease to exist on this plane of existence. There is only us in the moment. There is no beginning, no end, no middle, no Him, no me, no one, no thing, only ALL.

There is bliss, there is pain, there is joy, there is loss, there is fear, there is silliness, there is seriousness, there is release, there is fulfillment, there is completion, but there is no end.

i am the Philosopher's Stone, His tool to wield and use as He desires, for His desire, for His pleasure.

In the Quiet of the Night

In the quiet of the night, naked, i crawl to You.

You whisper, “What do you bring Me?”

“i give You my body, mind, spirit, and will.”

In the quiet of the night, the crack of the whip is felt,

The caress of the flogger flows over my flesh

The strike of the paddle bites deep into my soul.

In the quiet of the night You call me Your whore

You dominate my every sense with Your touch

Your quiet voice in my ear taking me further

In the quiet of the night a scream is heard.

A scream of delicious languorous pain

A scream of primal passionate release

In the quiet of the night, the darkness is explored.

In the quiet of the night boundaries are crossed.

In the quiet of the night taboos are broken.

In the quiet of the night…

©Dawn C. Davis 2011