Metaphors and Symbols in Life

I am a student of the occult, a seeker of esoteric knowledge and wisdom...metaphysics. Symbols have been my life; spiritually, emotionally, physically...for more years than some of my friends have been on this earth (in this lifetime at least). The interesting thing is that I'm not very good at putting into words what I glean from the metaphors and symbols in my life. I can take all of that knowledge, all of the gleanings, and transform them into an emotion, into energy within my body and release it to the world through connection with another human being, through ritual, through sex or kink, but words seem to escape me...or at least it feels that way to me which is kind of ironic given words seem to be one of the most important things of my life.

Ritual; be it sexual, kink-related, spiritual, stroking someones hand, giving someone a hug, merely making a soulful connection in some small and profound way...with a person, with an animal, with a tree, or flowing stream...these are but some of the ways that metaphors and symbols both enter and leave my life.

Many years ago, during a meditation, I connected to ALL. The most profound moment of my life. I was open to every single entity on this planet, in the air, in the cosmos. We were... *are* one. I sense and feel my connection to everything. It is overwhelming at times. It can make ending relationships extremely painful, but it can enhance the beginning of a new friendship; amp it up like lightning striking, or floodgates opening. It makes me very vulnerable. Learning to control it has been...interesting. *smile*

Many years ago, I ended a very profound relationship...a Master/slave relationship. I struggled though I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I knew that I could sever the metaphysical connection, the "cord" that kept me connected to him and it would ease my aching and longing, but I recognized that if I did that, then I would no longer be connected to ALL. I consciously chose to let the metaphysical connection remain even though fear and loss and anger traveled along that cord for some time and fed my anguish and pain. Eventually it diminished and now it is a cord like any of the other infinite cords that connect me to everything and everyone around me. To this day, I am extremely thankful that I did not damage my relationship with ALL by severing that one cord.

Perhaps this is why my photographic art has come back into my life. Another form of metaphor and symbol. The things my eye sees and wants (needs) to capture and share with the world.

The tattoos on my body, the symbols they represent are more metaphors. The great union that comes from the combining of sexual energies (mine depicts female and male sexual union). The replica of the Pictish carving on my breast to me symbolizes new life, growth, the germinating seed coming to life. The Udjat on my back symbolizes my intuition, my psychic self, and that connection that I have to ALL. The white wolf paw on my hip/thigh, once a symbol of my slavery to my Master, now symbolizes my secondary totem and the path that I traverse in this lifetime of discovery of self. The new tattoo that has not come into being yet, will connect all of these and aid my ritual of moving into the next phase of being.

Sometimes I feel like it is a very solitary path these metaphors and symbols lead me on, and sometimes it feels lonely, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it is filled with fascinating conversations, amazing connections, and the warmest of hugs. I cherish each and every moment that I share with every entity I connect with...each and every one. They are precious to me.


I feel led to end this with a quote of sorts. It is the "Priestess speech" from the Gnostic Catholic Mass, which I performed more times than I can possible count. Filled with metaphor and symbol for those who care to look. If you ever want to hear it spoken, I'd be happy to oblige. Ask me any time you see me. Trust me, it's engraved on my very soul. I will never forget it.

"But to love me is better than all things; if under the night-stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in splendour and pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich head-dress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!" [Liber AL, I:61] "To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:62] "Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you. I am the blue-lidded daughter of sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky. To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:63-65]

© Dawn C. Davis (photo and writing except for excerpt from Liber AL)

Eyes

The eyes have it.
The depth of shadow that draws me in.
To dive deep into the well of you.

The eyes have it.
The lightness of laughter that lifts me up.
To climb higher to the summit of you.

The eyes have it.
The knowledge of thoughts that reel me in.
To swim in the understanding of you.

The eyes have it.
The intensity of passion that seeks me out.
To breathe life into my submission to you.

The eyes have it.
The joy of delivering the pain that lulls me.
To bask in the beauty of connection with you.

The eyes have it….


© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2014

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2014

Cravings

Raw visceral cravings
rolling through my mind
feeding my need to submit
Your words get inside my head
my will is begging to kneel
before You
in sublimation
needing, wanting, craving
to please, to serve,
to give all, everything

Sweet bliss of submission
Your hands
Your pleasure
Your orders
Your care
sweet rapture of obeying
consume my every thought
my very being
my soul crying out with need

Tears of longing
consume my essence
words of praise
waken my senses
struggle with self
for distance and circumstance
it is what it is
walk away
stay and see what might be

Cravings fill my soul
You have awakened the slave
within me once again
it hurts, it consumes
share or hold it inside
what would a good slave girl do
cravings should be shared
fear wants to hold them back
fear is a liar

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Internet image, source unknown

My Wolf

I met you in a dream.

Coming to me across a narrow wooded path, you and your brother. I knew that you were for me and I was to choose between you. I saw your brother but my eyes never left yours. You are the deepest grey and brindle of the large timber wolf with a beautiful ruff of silver. Your eyes the penetrating yellow of the wild beast you are. Your gaze never left mine as you stood there and I sank to my knees before you. We stayed like that for what seemed an eternity, drowning in each others eyes. Slowly my hands reached up and buried themselves in the thick ruff of your neck fur, and you closed your eyes. I leaned forward and added the weight of my face to the ruff where my hands were buried, breathing deep the scent of you.

We became one in that moment and I heard your voice in my head, "Ukiah, Little Bird," and I knew this was your name and you recognized and accorded reverence to my eagle totem. You entered my soul that day, always to reside with me, standing beside my Eagle, the predators that make me strong and willful, intelligent and free...but willing to submit to the the Other, the One who is strong enough to Dominate us.

That has been few and far between, that dominance. We are strong. When we find it, when the chemistry is right, we kneel, we pant, we growl, we yearn to please, yet protect.

You came to me when I started to explore this deeper, darker aspect of myself, when I started to explore how pleasurable pain could be, to discover the erotic connections of submission. When I find that Other and kneel before Him, you come to the surface. If He connects with the animal essence that is within me, you growl with pleasure. You groan and strain with the need to be taken, the need to be dominated; the bite on the neck holding me still and in place. You fight so briefly to see if He, the Other, is worthy of our strength and when He is, we melt and you give me the strength needed to go deep, to please Him and in this way you help my Eagle to fly free in the moment of ultimate release; to soar above the earth and take Him with me to experience that ultimate goal of becoming one with Deity, to sing with angels, to howl with the joy of coming home.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Image ~ Source unknown

Hunger Like No Other

There is a hunger like no other
A gaping maw like a baby bird
Feed me, feed me
Touch my body with the cane
Fill my yearning for the whip
Set me free with the sharp staccato
Sound of your hand upon my flesh

There is a hunger like no other
A black hole that will suck you in
Feed me, feed me
Read my body like a bible
It will tell you what I need
Crawl inside my mind
Take control of the driving desire

There is a hunger like no other
A need to please the hands of torment
Feed me, feed me
Hear the screams of my desire
Listen to the yearning in my laughter
Let me feed your hungry beast
Release your inner fire

There is a hunger like no other
A need to soar through time and space
Feed me, feed me
Connect with the beating of my heart
Breathe with me through the pain
Guide me on the journey
I will give you sweet release

There is a hunger like no other
A raging fire that consumes
Feed me, feed me
Take me to the edge
Fill me with the pain
Set my spirit free
And I will take you with me

There is a hunger like no other
A tsunami that overwhelms
Feed me, feed me
Floating on the ocean
The sweet debris of this emotion
Gently floating back to earth
A smile shared, hands clasped in sweet oblivion.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Image ~ Source unknown

The Beast Within

Darkness all around me
Darkness consumes me
Feeding the beast within

Melting, yearning, striving for release
Stretching, straining, cravings never cease

Take my breath away
Take my soul away
Feed the beast within

Longing, reaching, hiding from myself
Biting, scratching, clawing at the shelf

Darkness envelops fantasy
Darkness hastens time
Feeding the hunger deep inside

Answers, questions, never cease
Lovers, partners, always please

Hands claiming me
Hands chaining me
Taking what they want

Desire, drive, spreading wide
Asphyxiate, open, quench the tide

Darkness all around me
Darkness consumes me
Feeding the beast within


© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Space Between

There is a space between the tears that fall down my face
Filled with the absence of your heart next to mine
Filled with the sorrow of the longing of your touch
Filled with the ghost of the whispers we once shared

There is space between your arms enfolding me
Trying to find our way home from the darkness
Trying to grasp what once was always there
Trying to lessen the pain of dissolution

There is a space between the beats of my heart
The white space of memory where new thoughts can grow
The white space of yearning for the love that encompasses
The white space of life moving on

There is a space between the light and the dark
A place where we hide and a place where we grow
A place where we weep and a place where we learn
A place where we yearn and a place where we run

There is a space

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013
Image ~ Source Unknown

Dark Vision

The vision runs deep, the vision is the truth in the dark.
Travel the darkest paths to find the depth of the soul.
Seek the darkest places to find the light that is.

Find beauty in all things. See what is not there,
Go beyond the surface, diving ever deeper into the despair.
There is only one way to the other side and that is through it.

Cross the abyss where madness reigns.
Feel with your heart. See with your emotions.
Close your eyes so the true vision will manifest.

Travel the dark and you will find light.
Seek the dark and you will find answers.
Revel inside and you will find truth.

If you are brave enough to look, you will see, you will feel, you will be free.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Image ~ Source unknown

A Fairy Tale...

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Dawn. Her laughter joined the birds in song. Her eyes were as changing and expressive as the moon. Her tears filled the oceans. She could get lost in the sun, in the stars, in the flow of a swift moving river. She was sensitive and caring, taking everything to heart and holding it within herself like a precious flower. She laughed and danced, she expressed herself with words, with song, with movement, with service. She desperately wanted to please everyone.

She grew up feeling everything deeply and being told she was too much; too sensitive, too caring, too giving...to stop being who she was. The people who told her these things were well meaning, but the damage was done. So she continued to live and grow, she made friends, tried hard to be what they all wanted her to be, and couldn’t figure out why she was not happy.

She spent time learning music because it spoke to the emotion she tried to hide. She learned how to dance because it was an outlet for the emotion she tried not to feel. She read books to escape the drudgery her life had become. She wrote stories to feed her imagination and try to find her dreams again. She took pictures trying to find the light. She sought god in the religions of the world, trying them on like wedding dresses, searching for the one that fit her dream.

She made love with abandon, giving her body freely, even to those that did not deserve it. She was drawn to submission and pain and discovered it was a way to release the pent up emotions that she had learned how to hide. In her search for god and for someone to love, she discovered that She is all that she needs….but not all that she wants.

She studied the bible, the Koran, Qabalah, Hermetics, Thelema, Sufism, the philosophy of the ancient Egyptians, and was drawn to the stories of the ancient Picts and the Celtic peoples. She discovered the sacredness that is sexuality and the union with GOD through the joining of sexual energies with a partner, or through self-pleasuring. Her goddess came to her through her discovery of the pleasures of pain. She became a priestess in a religion that “almost” fit her perfectly, but she was unable to find the “other”, the person, the priest who could complete her rapture in her devotion, so she moved on, searching, ever searching.

She is learning to love herself as her goddess loves her, devoting herself to the bliss of pain that leads to the release of self in sexual abandon.

Her story is really just beginning, the journey through wanton desires, sharing herself for the healing of the world through sexual union…with one, with many…it has not been fully determined yet.

Her laughter once again joins the birds in song. Her eyes are still as changing and expressive as the moon. Her tears still fill the oceans. She still gets lost in the sun, in the stars, in the flow of a swift moving river. She remains sensitive and caring, taking everything to heart and holding it within herself, nurturing that precious flower. She laughs freely and dances with abandon; she expresses herself with words, with song, with movement, with service. She loses herself with wild abandon when a trusting hand administers pain…and pleasure.

The ending of one chapter leads to the beginning of another. Her story continues…

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2012

Image ~ Source unknown

I Love You...

Love…what is it? Does it really matter?

I had a conversation with a friend recently who told me about a book she was reading and she said some things that were extremely profound to me.

The word love means so many things. There are so many kinds of love. Life is short and we never know when it will end or when we will part ways with someone that means something to us. Be courageous. Say, “I love you” every time you feel it, to everyone that you’re feeling it toward. Don’t worry about what “type” of love it is, just say it. Say it because you need to say it. Say it because someone needs to hear it. Don’t worry about it freaking out the person you’re saying it to. They need to hear it and you need to share it.

You may only ever have one chance to say it to someone and they need to know you felt that way about them at least once. It doesn’t matter if its friendship love, or romantic love, or spiritual love, or respect love, or any other kind. It’s love. Share it. Celebrate it. Acknowledge it. Revel in it. But most especially SAY IT.

It might prompt a conversation. It might confuse someone…but at some point, they will remember it and know that in that moment you respected them, cared for them, loved them and it may make all the difference in the world when that memory comes back to them.

I love you….

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2012

Internet image

His Whore

I crawl...to him on hands and knees, like a golden tiger with muscles rippling under skin; animal calling to animal, the primal energy rising up in us as I get closer to him.

I kneel...before him giving myself to him body, mind, spirit, and will so that he can guide us through the darkest places of our desires; set our passions free to soar in the depth of pain.

I wait…i am the submissive whore who awaits her Sir’s desires and his pleasures; the suspense of our indulgences building and growing on the edge of the knife of our lust.

I attend…his needs, his desires; his enjoyment are my purpose when we come together; ministering to his body, caring for him physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I growl…when he bites me, claiming my flesh as his own, marking me with his teeth on my neck as he takes what is freely given; his animal calling to mine in a moment of challenge.

I purr…with pleasure at the pain that is wrought on my flesh as he molds me to his will, to his passion; awakening my spirit and soul ‘til we breathe as one in the dark space.

I sing…when the painful torment reaches the perfect pinnacle of lust, joy, sex, claiming; the endorphins flying and I am lost in the dark with only his touch to guide me.

I laugh…when the pain becomes like the barest caress of a tickle waiting to happen and the joy bubbles up my throat and escapes my lips in the purest moment of happiness.

I scream…when the wanton whore is knocking on the door humping the toys of painful torment, wanting more, needing more in the inky blackness where i am lost without him.

I release…my very essence to his touch as he whispers in my ear, “Come for me my whore. Give it to me, all of it,” and I cannot hold back an ounce of the beautiful water he craves.

I yield…to him because he speaks to my soul like no other ever has, he sets something inside of me free—to be, to soar, to expand and grow; allowing me to be who I am meant to be.

I share…with him the depth of my spirit and my goddess because he understands, and my goddess desires him, has work for him to perform in the beautiful dark places of our journey together.

I ache…there is a yearning deep inside of me that craves his touch and the sound of his raspy voice in my ear leading me on through the inky darkness of our world of taboo.

I am…His whore.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2012

Daughter of Fortitude

I am the dowghter of fortitude,
& ravyshed every howr, from my youth,
for behold, I am understanding, & science dwelleth in me
& the heavens oppress me,
They covet and desyre me with infinite appetite
few or non that are earthly have embraced me
for I am shadowed with the circle of the sonne:
and covered with the morning clouds:
My feet are swifter than the wynds,
& my hands are sweeter than the morning dew.


My garments are from the beginning:
& my dwelling place is in my self.
The lyon knoweth not where I will walk:
neyther do the bestes of the field understand me.
I am deflowered & yet a virgin.
I sanctifie & am not sanctified
happy is he that embraceth me.
for in the night season I am sweete,
in the day full of pleasure


my company is a harmony of many Cymballs
And my lips sweeter than helth it self.
I am a harlot for such as ravish me:
and a virgin with such as know me not:
for lo I am loved of many: & I am a lover to many:
and as many as come unto me as they should do,
have theyr enterteynment.
Purge your streets o you sons of men,
& wash your howses clean.


Make your selves holy, & put on righteousness.
Cast out your old strumpets, & burn theyr clothes.
Absteyn from the company of other women that are defyled,
that are sluttish, & not so handsome, & bewtiful as I.
And then will I come & dwell amongst you.
And behold i will bring furth Children unto you:
& they shall be the sons of comfort
I will open my garments,
& stand naked before you
that your love may be more enflamed toward me.


As yet, I walk in the clowdes,
As yet, I am carryed with the wyndes:
And can not descend unto you
for the multitude of your abominations,
& the filthy lothesomnes of your dwelling places.
Behold these fowre,
who is he, that shall say, they have synned:
or unto whom shall they make accownt?
Not unto you, you sons of men,
nor unto the lord belongeth
the Judgment of his servants.


Now therfor, let the erth give furth her fruits unto you:
And let the mowntayns forsake theyr barrenness
wher your fotestepps shall remayne
happy is he that saluteth you:
& cursed is he that holdeth up his hands against you.
& power shall be given unto you
from hence furth to resyst your enemies:
& the lord shall allways here you
in the tymes of your trubbles.
And I am sent unto you to play the harlot with you:
And am to enrich you with the spoyles of other men:
prepare for me, for I comme shortly.
Provyde Your Chambers for me
that they may be swete & clenly:
for I will make a dwelling place amongst you
and I will be common with the father & the sonne, yea
and with all them that truely favoreth you
for my youth is in her flowre
and my strength is not to be extinguished with man.
Strong am I above & below.
Therefor, provyde for me.
for behold I now salute you.
And let peace be amongst you:
for I am the Dowghter of Comfort.


Disclose not my secrets unto women:
nether let them understand how swete i am.
for all things belongeth not unto every one.


I comme unto you again.


A poem that was channeled during the Enochian workings of Dr. John Dee, astrologer to Queen Elizabeth I