A Moment

Moments of peace

Lying in bed

Enveloped in the darkness of predawn

Rain pouring down in a graceful tempo all its own

Slumberous thoughts still clinging to my brain

Listening to the water hit the leaves on the ground

Rushing through the gutters of the building outside my window

A lulling melody

Calling me to burrow into the warmth of my bed

Yet enticing me to jump out of bed and stomp through the puddles

Watching the water envelope my bare feet

Making mud pies and smearing the rich wet earth on my skin

Becoming one with the nature that is a constant lure around me

Beautiful moments of peace

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Embrace

Today is traditionally a day of giving thanks. While I am not necessarily in that particular headspace and have no plans for celebrating this day in any traditional sense, I am definitely in a very introspective place. The recurring themed dreams that have plagued me lately of being Priestess, bringing this aspect of my self back into my life. The thoughts and feelings that continue to swirl around in my head and heart about things esoteric....and how to bring these things together into my life with balance and grace.

I find myself moving from book to book in my occult library, finding snatches and snippets of thoughts and ideas that move me from book to book until all the books are scattered around the room in an almost manic display of what is roaming freely inside my head.

All the while music is playing that causes me to move my arms, my hands, my body until all of the words and the melodies become one inside my soul and are translated, transcended, and escape through the ends of my fingers, out the top of my head, burst from my heart, and travel down into the earth pouring from my feet and lower chakras. All of my chakras feel exposed and open, yet also peaceful and whole..."complete" for lack of a better word...though still striving for more. More connection, more sharing, more giving, more release to all that need the transcended energy that moves through me.

Yet the hermit in me resides calm and watchful. Knowing that even though I need, require, demand peace and alone time, I must also let the Priestess out and she is never to be hidden from whoever needs her, whatever needs her energy.

The time and space, the atoms and molecules that I am comprised of, that touch all things, every thing - swirling in the cosmos of time and energy that never goes away. We are all things. Our thoughts are one. Our energies, while separate, are one.

There is no beginning or end to these thoughts and the energies pouring through me today, driving my fingers to type, to release, to share what needs to come out. Many will not understand what I'm sharing. Many will start reading and discover it is too jumbled to follow and walk away. I want to apologize to those who read and are confused, yet will not because there is some message here that some one may need and if even one person gets something out of this then the writing has served its purpose.

Touch and be touched. Open yourself. Be open to others. Love freely. Say the words. Embody the actions.

All is One. Embrace the connection to what is inside you, what is outside of you, and be who you are meant to be.

TheSacredWhore

© Dawn C. Davis

Art in Therapy

So, last weekend I got to do a photoshoot. An amazing photoshoot. A powerful photoshoot.

“Where are the pictures?” you ask. Well, that’s just it. There will likely be very fewif any photos posted. They are sexy. Beautiful. Endearing. Touching. Fabulous. Important. Compelling. Potent.

I could go on for days like this, and likely you all will never see any of them. But they are there. They touch me every time I open Lightroom to work on processing them. They are some of the most important work I have ever done in my life…and I hope to get the chance to do something similar again….even if it means not being able to share them.

I got to be a fly on a wall, share energy and space with two amazing women; one of whom is working to overcome much in her life and how she sees herself. This was therapy in kink and I got to document it, so for me it has become Art in Therapy.

I am so incredibly humbled that I was asked to do this. Not just as a photographer, but as a human being. I walked into it nervous. Hoping beyond hope that I could see and document what was needed for the healing work to continue. I walked away from the shoot with a contact high that I was not expecting. I walked into the shoot not in my own best headspace, and was nervous because I knew it was going to be emotional. I wasn’t nervous for me, I was nervous for her and that my energy would bleed over into what they were trying to accomplish, but I was resolved to put aside my own internal dialogue and be there for her. What happened was inspiring. Being there, capturing that healing…it healed something in me that I didn’t even know needed healing.

I got to photograph nervousness, laughter, tears, compassion, connection, power, strength, beauty, sexiness, and so so much more.

There can be great healing in this thing that we do. There can be great healing in allowing ourselves to move outside of our comfort zones. I am blown away time and again when people who have been in front of my lens want to be in front of it again…and tell me they feel powerful and special with what is created there. That they feel like they are contributing to art, and not some random cunt or cock shot.

We are sacred. Each and every one of us. Every part of us. There is no shame in the divine beauty that resides in us. Nor is there shame in the beauty of the bodies we have been given to house our divinity.

Hmmm, maybe I should keep my name after all. :-)

The Sacred Whore

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2015

Metaphors and Symbols in Life

I am a student of the occult, a seeker of esoteric knowledge and wisdom...metaphysics. Symbols have been my life; spiritually, emotionally, physically...for more years than some of my friends have been on this earth (in this lifetime at least). The interesting thing is that I'm not very good at putting into words what I glean from the metaphors and symbols in my life. I can take all of that knowledge, all of the gleanings, and transform them into an emotion, into energy within my body and release it to the world through connection with another human being, through ritual, through sex or kink, but words seem to escape me...or at least it feels that way to me which is kind of ironic given words seem to be one of the most important things of my life.

Ritual; be it sexual, kink-related, spiritual, stroking someones hand, giving someone a hug, merely making a soulful connection in some small and profound way...with a person, with an animal, with a tree, or flowing stream...these are but some of the ways that metaphors and symbols both enter and leave my life.

Many years ago, during a meditation, I connected to ALL. The most profound moment of my life. I was open to every single entity on this planet, in the air, in the cosmos. We were... *are* one. I sense and feel my connection to everything. It is overwhelming at times. It can make ending relationships extremely painful, but it can enhance the beginning of a new friendship; amp it up like lightning striking, or floodgates opening. It makes me very vulnerable. Learning to control it has been...interesting. *smile*

Many years ago, I ended a very profound relationship...a Master/slave relationship. I struggled though I knew it was exactly the right thing to do. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I knew that I could sever the metaphysical connection, the "cord" that kept me connected to him and it would ease my aching and longing, but I recognized that if I did that, then I would no longer be connected to ALL. I consciously chose to let the metaphysical connection remain even though fear and loss and anger traveled along that cord for some time and fed my anguish and pain. Eventually it diminished and now it is a cord like any of the other infinite cords that connect me to everything and everyone around me. To this day, I am extremely thankful that I did not damage my relationship with ALL by severing that one cord.

Perhaps this is why my photographic art has come back into my life. Another form of metaphor and symbol. The things my eye sees and wants (needs) to capture and share with the world.

The tattoos on my body, the symbols they represent are more metaphors. The great union that comes from the combining of sexual energies (mine depicts female and male sexual union). The replica of the Pictish carving on my breast to me symbolizes new life, growth, the germinating seed coming to life. The Udjat on my back symbolizes my intuition, my psychic self, and that connection that I have to ALL. The white wolf paw on my hip/thigh, once a symbol of my slavery to my Master, now symbolizes my secondary totem and the path that I traverse in this lifetime of discovery of self. The new tattoo that has not come into being yet, will connect all of these and aid my ritual of moving into the next phase of being.

Sometimes I feel like it is a very solitary path these metaphors and symbols lead me on, and sometimes it feels lonely, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it is filled with fascinating conversations, amazing connections, and the warmest of hugs. I cherish each and every moment that I share with every entity I connect with...each and every one. They are precious to me.


I feel led to end this with a quote of sorts. It is the "Priestess speech" from the Gnostic Catholic Mass, which I performed more times than I can possible count. Filled with metaphor and symbol for those who care to look. If you ever want to hear it spoken, I'd be happy to oblige. Ask me any time you see me. Trust me, it's engraved on my very soul. I will never forget it.

"But to love me is better than all things; if under the night-stars in the desert thou presently burnest mine incense before me, invoking me with a pure heart, and the serpent flame therein, thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour. Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in splendour and pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich head-dress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!" [Liber AL, I:61] "To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:62] "Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you. I am the blue-lidded daughter of sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky. To me! To me!" [Liber AL, I:63-65]

© Dawn C. Davis (photo and writing except for excerpt from Liber AL)

Aftershocks

Orgasms being ripped from my body
Torn from the very center of my being
Forced upon me, one on top of another
There is no longer a you or a me, there is only the never-ending orgasm
Until I lay drenched and sated
Relaxing into the moment, the afterglow of primal sex
Feeling there is no more within me
Minutes pass and my body convulses with the pleasure tearing through me once again
Even though there is no further stimulation
A smile upon your lips, understanding what you have done
More time passes and another convulsion as yet another orgasm rips through me
A gentle touch of your hand as you quiet me
Moments go by and a ripple spreads through me as I release yet again
Your hand resting on me as you own what you have done to me
Another stretch of time, the clock ticking and another paroxysm engulfs my body
You watch with satisfaction
What feels like hours later and another eruption pours through me in waves of unending pleasure
You hold me as I circle earth’s orbit, knowing you have taken me there.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2014

Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2014

Unpack

Come in, let me take your coat, you're going to be here a while.
You have baggage? No worries, let me help you unpack.
Ah, you're ashamed of what you're carrying around.
That's okay, we all have some of that.
Let's unpack it now and get it out of the way.
No, no, you don't get to hide. I won't allow that.
You won't have any secrets from me.
Shh, shh, shh, it's alright. I'm here.
I'll hold you close. I'll protect you.
You have monsters? That's okay. You'll meet mine too.
Oh, that doesn't scare you?
Well, we'll see how that goes.
Now, lets get to that baggage.
I'm not letting you go, you know.
Trust that.
I can't promise that there won't be pain.
We're living after all.
But I will never intentionally harm you.
Oh, you trust that already.
Good girl...now lets get to that baggage.
I'll hold you tight while you unpack.


Writing © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013
Image © Dawn C. Davis ~ 2014

My Wolf

I met you in a dream.

Coming to me across a narrow wooded path, you and your brother. I knew that you were for me and I was to choose between you. I saw your brother but my eyes never left yours. You are the deepest grey and brindle of the large timber wolf with a beautiful ruff of silver. Your eyes the penetrating yellow of the wild beast you are. Your gaze never left mine as you stood there and I sank to my knees before you. We stayed like that for what seemed an eternity, drowning in each others eyes. Slowly my hands reached up and buried themselves in the thick ruff of your neck fur, and you closed your eyes. I leaned forward and added the weight of my face to the ruff where my hands were buried, breathing deep the scent of you.

We became one in that moment and I heard your voice in my head, "Ukiah, Little Bird," and I knew this was your name and you recognized and accorded reverence to my eagle totem. You entered my soul that day, always to reside with me, standing beside my Eagle, the predators that make me strong and willful, intelligent and free...but willing to submit to the the Other, the One who is strong enough to Dominate us.

That has been few and far between, that dominance. We are strong. When we find it, when the chemistry is right, we kneel, we pant, we growl, we yearn to please, yet protect.

You came to me when I started to explore this deeper, darker aspect of myself, when I started to explore how pleasurable pain could be, to discover the erotic connections of submission. When I find that Other and kneel before Him, you come to the surface. If He connects with the animal essence that is within me, you growl with pleasure. You groan and strain with the need to be taken, the need to be dominated; the bite on the neck holding me still and in place. You fight so briefly to see if He, the Other, is worthy of our strength and when He is, we melt and you give me the strength needed to go deep, to please Him and in this way you help my Eagle to fly free in the moment of ultimate release; to soar above the earth and take Him with me to experience that ultimate goal of becoming one with Deity, to sing with angels, to howl with the joy of coming home.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2013

Image ~ Source unknown

A Fairy Tale...

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Dawn. Her laughter joined the birds in song. Her eyes were as changing and expressive as the moon. Her tears filled the oceans. She could get lost in the sun, in the stars, in the flow of a swift moving river. She was sensitive and caring, taking everything to heart and holding it within herself like a precious flower. She laughed and danced, she expressed herself with words, with song, with movement, with service. She desperately wanted to please everyone.

She grew up feeling everything deeply and being told she was too much; too sensitive, too caring, too giving...to stop being who she was. The people who told her these things were well meaning, but the damage was done. So she continued to live and grow, she made friends, tried hard to be what they all wanted her to be, and couldn’t figure out why she was not happy.

She spent time learning music because it spoke to the emotion she tried to hide. She learned how to dance because it was an outlet for the emotion she tried not to feel. She read books to escape the drudgery her life had become. She wrote stories to feed her imagination and try to find her dreams again. She took pictures trying to find the light. She sought god in the religions of the world, trying them on like wedding dresses, searching for the one that fit her dream.

She made love with abandon, giving her body freely, even to those that did not deserve it. She was drawn to submission and pain and discovered it was a way to release the pent up emotions that she had learned how to hide. In her search for god and for someone to love, she discovered that She is all that she needs….but not all that she wants.

She studied the bible, the Koran, Qabalah, Hermetics, Thelema, Sufism, the philosophy of the ancient Egyptians, and was drawn to the stories of the ancient Picts and the Celtic peoples. She discovered the sacredness that is sexuality and the union with GOD through the joining of sexual energies with a partner, or through self-pleasuring. Her goddess came to her through her discovery of the pleasures of pain. She became a priestess in a religion that “almost” fit her perfectly, but she was unable to find the “other”, the person, the priest who could complete her rapture in her devotion, so she moved on, searching, ever searching.

She is learning to love herself as her goddess loves her, devoting herself to the bliss of pain that leads to the release of self in sexual abandon.

Her story is really just beginning, the journey through wanton desires, sharing herself for the healing of the world through sexual union…with one, with many…it has not been fully determined yet.

Her laughter once again joins the birds in song. Her eyes are still as changing and expressive as the moon. Her tears still fill the oceans. She still gets lost in the sun, in the stars, in the flow of a swift moving river. She remains sensitive and caring, taking everything to heart and holding it within herself, nurturing that precious flower. She laughs freely and dances with abandon; she expresses herself with words, with song, with movement, with service. She loses herself with wild abandon when a trusting hand administers pain…and pleasure.

The ending of one chapter leads to the beginning of another. Her story continues…

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2012

Image ~ Source unknown

Gratitude

I am thankful for all the relationships I have ever had, even the difficult one’s and the one’s that ended badly for without them I would not have had the experiences that have made me who and what I am.

I am thankful for rich dark coffee with raw sugar and whipping cream. 

I am thankful for the smell of leather.

I am thankful for the intimate times with partners, smelling and nuzzling the soft spot behind their ears, enjoying and sharing sacred and beautiful gifts together.

I am thankful to be allowed the freedom to be who I am.

I am thankful for the yummy chicken salad from my favorite deli.

I am thankful for chocolate.

I am thankful for the love of family and friends, for being able to celebrate both light times and dark times with them.

I am thankful for cold hard steel.

I am thankful for mud and memories and the desire to create new ones.

I am thankful for peaceful quiet in the alone times.

I am thankful for the sweet ambrosia of times with friends, sharing secrets, living, loving, and laughing.

I am thankful that I have been blessed with creativity.

I am thankful that I am able to self-reflect on who I am and who I want to be.

I am thankful for my totem, the mighty eagle. who gives me the strength to keep moving forward no matter how hard it is some days.

I am thankful for all the people that I have not met yet but will at some point in my life and what we will share with one another.

I am thankful for the smell of the woods, a rushing stream, the beauty of a field, and the sun, wind, and rain that keep them all nurtured and growing.

I am thankful for open honesty.

I am thankful for my words, my vision, my relationship with my goddess…my muse.

I am thankful that I get to be who I am.

© Dawn C. Davis ~ 2012